she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
