it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize