what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize