Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
