Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
50% drunk capacity currently
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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