I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i may or may not be watching the land before time
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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