As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
