im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize