U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
