and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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