ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I could fuck to npr.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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