I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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