she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
