the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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