We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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