U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
