Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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