I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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