you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
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If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
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Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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