haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
