the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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