So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
