That's intense
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
