anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
