Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
