I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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