Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
why do cheetos always look like penises
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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