After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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