Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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