put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
