do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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