My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
