At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
