I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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