I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
