I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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