Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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