So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
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And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
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I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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