its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize