fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
