Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
