I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
