Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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