Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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