beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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