Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
