i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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