Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
