she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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