OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
