His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize