yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
