She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
