So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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