Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
