The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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