what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize