and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Boobs are out for the taking
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
