I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
