Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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